Quot

QUOT: (kwot) Noun and collective noun.

A commonplace occurrence – any feature or characteristic of ordinary life which is ever present or predictable in given circumstances – a generalisation to this effect. From ‘QUOTIDIAN’ meaning ‘everyday’ or ‘ordinary’

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Buying today's paper in the forlorn hope that the news will be better than yesterday's

People sending you online inspirational quotes and life-affirming messages just when you're least in the mood for them

Vegans never being able to resist the opportunity to talk about veganism

Letting one's youngest child loose on designing the family Christmas card

Cartoon penguins attempting to muscle in on the Christmas card market by trying to pass themselves off as some kind of festive creature

Salespeople always making a big deal of averting their eyes when you're keying in your pin-number on their card machines

On-line grocery deliveries always including something you didn't know you'd ordered

Home heating systems always breaking down at the first sign of colder weather

School reports always seeming to be about some completely different child to the one you live with at home

Your Android 'virtual assistants' always self-activating for no apparent reason

"Google - could you get in touch with Alexa and ask her to get Cortana to tell Sire to stop butting in on my conversations"

The day you go to a theme park the ride you're most looking forward to being closed for maintenance

Replacement bus 3 copy

All weddings having somebody there in a kilt even though they're not Scottish

"O.K. Gavin - you've made your point."

News presenters at Christmas always making bad news sound much worse by adding ' especially at this time of year'

"Seriously? You were expecting at old Santa's-sleigh-with-a-team-of-reindeer stuff? That's SO last year."

Caravans all smelling the same

" We got it cheap from the NHS: used to be a mobile X-ray unit but it suits us fine."

Old people always complaining they can no longer do what they could never do anyway

" Of course I always used to use the stairs, dear, but I just can't manage them any more ."

Every house having several kits for making coffee - most of them in the attic

"Am I right in thinking that these home coffee making machines are getting more sophisticated these days?"

Disasters always happening in threes

bus shelter 2 copy

Art galleries always wanting people to 'see things in the different way'

gone for smoke2

Models in advertisements for stairlifts, baths-with-doors-in and armchairs-which-tip-forward always looking so fit and healthy

"...and when they were up they were up , and when they were down they were down...."

Pop-up hospital departments suddenly appearing in municipal car parks

Reality check2 copy

Having to wear an ID card round your neck as proof of belonging to something

billynomates

Introducers of speakers who most need introduction always introducing them as ' needing no introduction'

"...And tonight we are very lucky to have with us as our surprise guest speaker....."

Small children always wanting to walk along the tops of low walls

walkonwalls 1

Passengers in cars being suddenly abandoned by the driver on some quick errand and left illegally parked

Busybody

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