Cold-call telesales people always saying “I’m not trying to sell you anything”
Extract from letter from old-age-pensioner Doris Sixbiscuits to her daughter who’s recently emigrated to Australia:- “ You don’t have to feel at all guilty about abandoning me here because I am surrounded by kindness and hardly a day goes by without somebody calling me up offering to render some service or other. Would you believe it but only this morning I was phoned by a nice lady who told me that not only had my postcode been specially selected for discounts on conservatory extensions, but also that their representatives were in the area this very week and would love to call. How about that? And she wasn’t even trying to sell me anything ! And then there was the very well-spoken young man who rang up and offered to clear my debts for me – ‘ Your debts can be written off for free within twelve months ‘ were his actual words. Bit of a one-sided conversation though as I couldn’t get a word in edgeways as he didn’t stop talking when I started to chat , but even so . And not to mention the friendly Asian gentlemen who called me by my first name and whose records showed that I had never claimed compensation for my accident. I don’t know what accident he was talking about (or what debts come to that ) but aren’t people kindness itself when it comes to giving the elderly a helping hand when their daughters just swan off to the other side of the world .”
Why, only yesterday a man approached me in the supermarket car park and offered to clean my car for just £25 as if he had come all the way from Eastern Europe just for the purpose – how thoughtful is that? It quite made me wish I had a car. You see my cup quite runneth over.Well ,I must sign off now get on with some other letters because I have such a big mailbag to catch up on that I scarcely notice I hardly ever get a letter from you or even a phone call. I have to reply to this land investment company to thank them for pointing out that there is a time to sow and a time to reap and there has never been a better time for me to invest your inheritance.Oh, and not to mention the nice man in Nigeria who needs help to get his fortune into the UK – oh, and I see my bank has just e-mailed me asking me to confirm that they have my account numbers and pin-numbers correct , so hi-ho – see, never a dull moment, eh?………”
(Rene Smears , Fittleworth) - QQQQ*
