Charity shop doorways always being full of stuff dumped in them over bank holiday weekends

THE SEVEN AGES OF THINGS  1) Brand spanking new – pride and joy – gets pride of place in household – neighbours invited round to admire 2) Serves purpose adequately for years  – cease to notice and take for granted  3) Colour starts fading ,  bits flake off , brown spots appear, and gummy substances start accumulating in voids and cracks – sticks sometimes but continues to function even when one of its thingies drops off. 4) Malfunction – first repair job  – repairman sucks teeth,  shakes his head and tries to sell updated model – says he can’t get the parts – mend it yourself 5) Get given replacement model but soldier on with old one out of sheer bloody-mindedness priding yourself on its long service –       ‘ they  they don’t make them like that any more ‘– go into denial and press on with it against better judgement  

6) Starts looking old fashioned and tacky  so reluctantly replaced by newer model – not thrown away though  for sentimental reasons – consigned to attic for years . 7) Clear attic out over bank holiday – find it and hear oneself muttering phrases like ‘too good to throw away’, ‘ a good home’ and  ‘ some old person might be only  glad of it ‘ * – wrap it in bin-bag and dump it in charity shop doorway at dead of night – well-wisher buys it in charity shop and gives it to you as Christmas present.             ( QQQQ*)

(* Old people do not want your old rubbish – they’ve got plenty of their own )

(Tilly Garnish , Wythenshawe) - enera