Media presenters always adopting hushed tones and going all gooey over anything to do with Royalty

Extract from the Queen’s Autobiography ‘One By One’. “Everybody knows that we Royals think that everywhere smells of fresh paint and flowers , but what is not generally known is that where commoners might suffer from  tinnitus, that constant ringing in the ears,  we have a continual running commentary on one’s activities  throughout the course of one’s ordinary life .

In hushed and unctuous tones it goes on all day starting at breakfast like this:’ And here comes the Queen’s Meusli with its toasted wheat flakes from the plains of the Crown estates and the Duchy of Cornwall, together with the golden flame raisons and massed dried banana,papaya, apricot , and coconut oil each representing a country of the Commonwealth , encrusted with brazil nuts, almond, and pecan and sweetened with sugar from the Caribean – all brought together under the auspices of the Lord High Fibre and Rouge Dragon Polyunsaturate . And now glinting in the early morning sun we have today’s first glimpse of the Silver Spoon…”  and so it goes on all day  when One would much rather be listening to the radio while One is doing One’s  ironing…..”  

(Gisla Tosh , Alfreston) - QQQ**