All school art shows having several line-drawings of sports footwear included in the exhibits

SPUD, the class Teddy Bear , writes:-

Troy Fallon is 6 and he’s fed up with drawing dinosaurs, reindeer, Easter bunnies , dragons, and rainbows  . But what really gets up his nose  is seeing his inept artwork being stuck up on the classroom windows so that other kids , teachers and parents can also see his class’ handiwork from the playground.

Troy’s in Amoeba Class, here at St Milk’s Primary school where I hold sway as the class mascot , and believe me I don’t miss much from my position  on my tuft of moss propped up against the stick insect’s jar on the Nature Table.  

But  this week there’s been a change of subject and the little people  have all been busy drawing shoes. Yes, you heard right. Shoes. Shoes, sandals, trainers, crocs, flip-flops, slippers, Yeti boots , Birkenstocks – anything that goes on the feet. Why? Well, need you ask when it’s so well known  that this week is National Shoe week. OK, so maybe not so well known but this is a school remember , always up at the sharp end when it comes to national  trends .There is nothing to stop anybody declaring that any given day or week or month as national something-or-other day, week or month , so it’s only a matter of time before we get ‘National Look Where You’re Going Week ‘ or ‘UK Rubber  Tea Towel Nozzle Day ‘. But what the hell? Today could be ‘World Indifference Day’ for all I care.

For the moment though if the Footwear Council of  Great Britain says it’s National Shoe Week that’s what we’re saddled with and you can bet your bottom dollar the primary schools will play along and make a project out of it. Oh , you’ve no idea how educational shoes can be once you’ve put your mind to it – shoes through the ages, shoes of all nations, shoes in science ( ‘grounding slippers’ with special ‘earthing conductivity’ – from `Goop’ ,where else?) ) …and with each application the drawings come thick and fast. Children love drawing sandals once they know they were probably the very first shoes ever worn in this country – it captures their imagination. How their very existence can be brought to life by being  told that it was the sandals worn by the Roman legions that gave them the edge over the Ancient Britons in battle . Since the Roman’s left ,  they now know, we haven’t seen so many sandals in this country until the Liberal Democrats started having Party Conferences . Actually I made that bit up but you get my point . So history AND politics. And Medicine . Chiropody has had a long presence in the British Isles, apparently . Never mind  ‘ and did those feet in ancient times ’  , have you ever wondered WHO it was who  did those feet in ancient times ? Well, it was the Romans – having suffered fearful  maladies  from years ‘ walking those mountains green’ throughout their occupation.

Anyway , the class took to the projects and have become so well practised in the drawing of shoes  that by the time Troy and his classmates go to secondary school  knocking off  anything shoe-shaped  will be second nature , and another generation of line drawings of trainers will be ready for their art exhibitions.

As it happens I was billeted with Troy’s family the first weekend of the shoe project by which time  he must have had had shoes firmly in his mind. We were on a shopping trip at the mall with his Mum when we were passing this man selling magazines and Troy was puzzled by what  he was saying.

‘Why does that man want bigger shoes? he asks his Mum. ‘He keeps asking for bigger shoes.’

“He’s not saying ‘ Bigger Shoes ”says Troy’s Mum . What he’s saying is ‘Big Issues’.”

(Nora Famish , Cheadle) - QQQQ*