Always putting instruction manuals away in a drawer straight away without reading them
Everybody knows that reading instruction manuals is sissy , says Miko Ishuzimo, editor of ‘Loser Friendly’ the magazine for dystechnics, even though it is dangerous and should not be attempted at home certainly in respect of electronic devices and IT equipment. He cites the case-study of Branwell Meek who once did so and now spends most of his time rocking backwards and forwards under supervision. ”Let him be a warning to others”, he says. “ Anyone who has even glanced at the section called ‘Getting Started’ on page one knows that the third or fourth word will be a technical term or an acronym that you don’t understand . It’s the same with those ‘Help’ menus on computers when you don’t know what to key in because you don’t know what that thing you want help with is called. You’re stuck, like when you need to know where to look up who to call when you want to order a telephone directory. Instruction manuals should carry a health warning even though their message is quite clear – ’ you should not be the owner of this machine’. It is too complicated and by providing a dauntingly mind-boggling instruction manual the manufacturers are only doing their best to warn you of the heartache and agony which lie in wait for you. You only have to look at the machines themselves to realise that they have already gone out of their way to discourage you from connecting up and operating at all . Look at the way they identify the connecting sockets and ports on the casing – tiny little lettering in relief , black-on-black – to spare you even having to see it.
And look how tiny and fiddly the controls are on mobile phones : they’re not for normal sized humans but for smaller creatures with sharp eyesight and pointy fingers. As for the people who actually write the manuals they are not of this world and many of them have indeed ended up with Branwell Meek rocking backwards and forwards under supervision.” (QQQQ*)
(Brad Pokepsi , Droitwich) - QQQQ*
